Wow, 3 sets of tires at 43k
. Hopefully that was from hard driving and not uneven tire wear. I'm still on the OEMs at 34k. I've got 22s and Falkens and will change them once I get my tire machine in a couple weeks.
As for ride quality with a swaybar I only noticed a bit more stiffness over rough uneven roads. I actually like it but I'm sure its not for everyone including hardcore offroaders.
With the squirrely ride, what exactly are you talking about. Does it wander, does the steering wheel shimmy, what type of roads, does it happen only on a certain highway?
The dealer should have checked the tie rod ends because you can't do a good alignment when they are bad. Road force balancing is great if they take the time to do it. Truck tires can be hard to balance let alone RFB so they might have just given you a standard balance which the RFB machine can do. Check the insides of the wheels to see how much weight they stuck in there. Less weight is always better, to much weight can indicate a bad wheel/tire match which could be adjusted by the RFB machine.
Good luck with the dealer on tracking down the problem. If there are any specialty wheel/tire places, or race prep shops that do wheel/tires you might want to check with them if the dealer falls through.